From the Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis
Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter
In today's episode, we're celebrating World Compliment Day; I find myself reflecting on the profound impact that giving compliments can have—not just on the recipients but on us as givers. It's a journey of noticing the beauty in everyday interactions, whether the strength we see in others, like the resilience Johnny Cash found through June Carter's encouragement or the wisdom in Martin Luther King Jr.'s words about the power of love and strength.
Giving a compliment isn't about grand gestures but the simple, genuine moments of connection—acknowledging someone's effort, as Ludwig van Beethoven did through his music or the encouragement Sugar Ray Robinson offered to a young Flojo, igniting a dream. As we dive into the art of giving compliments, remember that this is about sharing small pieces of kindness that can brighten someone's day and when you do, you might just notice a big smile on your own face. Let's do this!
AI Generated. Human checked. Please email me or message me on social media if you see any mistakes.
Vicki Davis (00:01)
Hello everyone. Today is National Compliment Day in the United States. If you listen to this show, I believe you can improve relationships and become a happier person. So before we start, we need to discuss what a compliment is and is not and deal with some misconceptions.
First, some people think that giving a genuine compliment is a sign of weakness. The research disagrees. In their book Compelling People, The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential, John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut share that in their research, the most compelling people are strong and warm. they quote one of the last speeches that Martin Luther King Jr. gave in Atlanta.
to the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, he said, “One of the greatest problems of history is that the concepts of love and power have usually been contrasted as opposites. What is needed is the realization that power without love is reckless and abusive and that love without power is sentimental and anemic. So successful people are strong people who also care warmly about the people.
around them. Second, some people say it's hard to give compliments because people will let you down. In his book Nine Things Leaders Must Do, Dr. Henry Cloud says, “People who succeed in leadership in life do not go around setting scores.
They do not ever keep score. They run up the score by doing good to others, even when others do not deserve it. It is the law of love to change things for the better. And Proverbs 12:21 says, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by good. Johnny Cash is a well -known singer in the United States who died in 2003. his wife, June Carter, was credited
for helping him recover from drug addiction. And she was known as a very complimentary person. At her funeral, Roseanne Cash, Johnny's daughter from his first marriage, said about June, “In her eyes, there were two kinds of people in the world, those she knew and loved, and those she didn't know and loved. She looked for the best in everyone. It was her way of life. If you pointed out that a particular person,
was not totally deserving of her love and might in fact be somewhat of a lout, she would say, well, honey, we just have to lift him up. She was forever lifting people up.” And isn't that a great reputation to have, that kind of person who's always lifting people up? Third, some people say that they don't know what to say.
Ludwig van Beethoven was deaf and didn't have a lot of social graces because it was hard to communicate. he had a friend who had a son who died and Beethoven found out and rushed over to his friend's house, unable to say anything, He goes over to the piano and he pours out his heart for 30 minutes.
He gets up, and then he leaves. And later on, his friend said that that was the most meaningful visit because Beethoven was genuine and communicated the way that he could. So don't worry about saying the wrong thing. It's the effort that counts. So now that we have talked about that, giving genuine compliments is part of being that strong, warm leader, and to be happy in life, we need to give others better than they give us and not be scorekeepers. We need to lift people up, and we need to give a genuine compliment or encouragement in the way that works for us. So now, let's talk about five ways to make this happen. So first of all, just notice people and make eye contact and be genuine.
Pat Williams, the author said it broke his heart when he found out his sister said that until she met her husband, there was nobody who ever told her she looked nice today. Tell people they look nice. Give a genuine, true compliment about things that you notice that they care about. Thank you for holding the door for me. Thank you for that meal.
You know, if we can find something good about every child in our classroom and tell them, and even better, email mom or dad. put positive comments on a child's report card. But you can also do this with strangers. Track and field athlete Florence Griffith-Joyner was known as Flojo and as the fastest woman in the world.
She died too young in 1988, but before she died, she told Pat Williams this story he shared in his book, The Difference You Make, Changing Your World Through the Impact of Your Influence. Flojo told Pat she grew up poor in South Central Los Angeles, but that when she was eight years old, she met boxing champion Sugar Ray Robinson. She says, “‘Sugar Ray looked me in the eye and he told me, it doesn't matter where you come from, what your color is, or what the odds are against you. All that matters is you have a dream, and you commit yourself to that dream. Do that, and it will happen.' And she says, “Right then and there, I was sold. I was just eight years old, but I was all fired up about what my future could be.” You see, Sugar Ray Robinson gave eight-year-old Florence the compliment of looking her in the eye, noticing her, and speaking truth and encouragement into her life. My late pastor, Dr. Michael Catt, always said to walk slowly through the crowd because everybody has a hurt.
I always want to notice people. And when you're tired, or you're busy, it takes extra effort. When you're working really hard in your classroom, and then you walk in the hall, and those kids are walking by, you have to kind of shift gears and start noticing and complimenting and paying attention to who they are to just give them those genuine compliments that we all need as human beings. Second, I learned this one from my sister: give anonymous surprises. So notice what people like to drink, whether it's a cold soda or a hot tea or a hot coffee. And you get that drink or that soda or that snack, and you leave it on their desk anonymously with a post-it notes on it. So you might say, to the front receptionist, “I notice how you answer the phone so well.” Or you might have like a snicker bar, and you say, “I think you need a little snicker. I've been noticing how hard you've been working.”
The other day, a parent did this for me with a, just a nice note and prayer on it. And this parent had stapled a little baggie with a chocolate chip cookie in it and put it in my basket, and that meant so much because she wasn't asking for anything in return. So first, we notice people and give them a genuine compliment just by paying attention to them even. And second, we give anonymous surprises. So, third, write a note or give a text. So when she moved back to our hometown, one of my amazing students, Casey, said, Ms. Davis, I really want to thank you for being my teacher. And so,
She took me to dinner. She was so kind and gave me some really nice compliments that were so encouraging. And as I was talking to her and seeing what all she did, I was like, wow, she's an amazing leader. So, I helped nominate her for something called Leadership Georgia. Well, Casey goes to Leadership Georgia. She meets her now husband, and now she actually has a child, all because she stopped to give a compliment to her teacher, and that just meant the world to me. I'm still here doing this podcast and on social media because many years ago, during my spring break, I have battled skin cancer pretty much my whole life. And so I had had terrible skin cancer right on my eye.
And so my right eye was swollen, and I was at home, and I was just kind of thinking, you know what, why am I doing any of this? It's just not worth it. I just need to quit it all. Like I was just thinking that. And then I get a ding that a DM was coming in on Twitter and it was my pastor, Dr. Michael Catt. And he said, Vicki, I've noticed what you're doing. You are salt and light. You need to keep doing what you're doing and keep sharing and keep helping people. And that changed the course of my life because I did not stop because one person said something kind in that moment. in his book, All It Takes is a Goal, John Acuff says that he tries to give a text to someone in his life who he admires or respects or appreciates every single day.
And you know what, since I've been doing that, I've gotten so many reconnections, kind of like Casey connected with me; it's just a great way to live your life. So first, slow down and notice. Second, give people anonymous surprises. And third, write a note or a text. Fourth, compliment someone to their boss. Now, waiters and waitresses work hard, and this is something I learned from my mom.
she would notice somebody who was working really, really hard. And then, at the end of the meal, she would say, would it help you if I complimented you to your manager because you did a great job? And that person will always go, like, first of all, they're shocked. And second, they're trying to figure out what you want. But then, when they realize you're real, you explain that they will always go get their manager. And their manager will come out. A lot of times their manager is like sheepish and like, oh, do I really want to talk to this person? What do they want from me?
And so mom would say, you know, I just wanted to tell you what a great job so and so did. They always refilled our tea glass. or whatever it is was a genuine compliment for that person. And so this is something we can also do. When a teacher does a great job, tell the principal.
you know, when your child's teacher does a great job because, you know, they may like a compliment from you, but if you tell their principal, now the principal gets to go give their teacher a compliment, and you have blessed the principal and the teacher because principals need and want positive things to tell their teachers. And in a world full of negative, we need to do that. And, you know, we can also do with us with our students. Now, the fifth may seem something odd, but it's compliment yourself.
So I always tell my students that if a person said to you what you often say to yourself, you would not be friends with that person. Our self-talk is so important. So I have a celebrate playlist that when I finish working out, I play it, and I look in the mirror and I say, “Vicki, you did a good job. You worked out.” And then I play the celebrate playlist.
In John Maxwell's book, How Successful People Grow, 15 Ways to Get Ahead in Life, he says, “if we want to change our lives, we have to change the way we think of ourselves. If we want to change the way we think of ourselves, we have to change the way we talk to ourselves.”
If we talk negatively to ourselves, how will we become a more positive person? When you do something awesome, celebrate, compliment yourself, look in the mirror, tell yourself you did a good job. Get good at celebrating.
So when I was 50, my sisters and I celebrated by me learning to run a half marathon
When I crossed that finish line, you better believe, my hands went up, I get the medal, we're taking pictures, I'm celebrating. I was so, so happy. our habits make us who we are.
And we need to celebrate those little habits when you send a text to compliment someone, when you compliment that waiter or that colleague or that student. Celebrate those moments because you are putting more love and more light, more goodness into the world when you do that. So I'm hoping that you will celebrate World Compliment Day with these five ways to give a compliment and that you will understand that being the kind of person who gives compliments, well, only make you a better leader, a better friend, a better family member and a happier human being. So get out there and celebrate and make every day compliment day by complimenting people in your world.
Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via a cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
The post 5 Simple Ways to Give a Genuine Compliment appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!
Follow @coolcatteacher on Twitter
In today's episode, we're celebrating World Compliment Day; I find myself reflecting on the profound impact that giving compliments can have—not just on the recipients but on us as givers. It's a journey of noticing the beauty in everyday interactions, whether the strength we see in others, like the resilience Johnny Cash found through June Carter's encouragement or the wisdom in Martin Luther King Jr.'s words about the power of love and strength.
Giving a compliment isn't about grand gestures but the simple, genuine moments of connection—acknowledging someone's effort, as Ludwig van Beethoven did through his music or the encouragement Sugar Ray Robinson offered to a young Flojo, igniting a dream. As we dive into the art of giving compliments, remember that this is about sharing small pieces of kindness that can brighten someone's day and when you do, you might just notice a big smile on your own face. Let's do this!
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Show Notes
Books Mentioned:
- “Compelling People: The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential“ by John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut
- “Nine Things a Leader Must Do“ by Dr. Henry Cloud
- “The Difference You Make: Changing Your World Through the Impact of Your Influence“ by Pat Williams
- “All It Takes is a Goal“ by John Acuff
- “How Successful People Grow: 15 Ways to Get Ahead in Life“ by John Maxwell
Transcript
AI Generated. Human checked. Please email me or message me on social media if you see any mistakes.
Transcript
Vicki Davis (00:01)
Hello everyone. Today is National Compliment Day in the United States. If you listen to this show, I believe you can improve relationships and become a happier person. So before we start, we need to discuss what a compliment is and is not and deal with some misconceptions.
First, some people think that giving a genuine compliment is a sign of weakness. The research disagrees. In their book Compelling People, The Hidden Qualities That Make Us Influential, John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut share that in their research, the most compelling people are strong and warm. they quote one of the last speeches that Martin Luther King Jr. gave in Atlanta.
to the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, he said, “One of the greatest problems of history is that the concepts of love and power have usually been contrasted as opposites. What is needed is the realization that power without love is reckless and abusive and that love without power is sentimental and anemic. So successful people are strong people who also care warmly about the people.
around them. Second, some people say it's hard to give compliments because people will let you down. In his book Nine Things Leaders Must Do, Dr. Henry Cloud says, “People who succeed in leadership in life do not go around setting scores.
They do not ever keep score. They run up the score by doing good to others, even when others do not deserve it. It is the law of love to change things for the better. And Proverbs 12:21 says, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil by good. Johnny Cash is a well -known singer in the United States who died in 2003. his wife, June Carter, was credited
for helping him recover from drug addiction. And she was known as a very complimentary person. At her funeral, Roseanne Cash, Johnny's daughter from his first marriage, said about June, “In her eyes, there were two kinds of people in the world, those she knew and loved, and those she didn't know and loved. She looked for the best in everyone. It was her way of life. If you pointed out that a particular person,
was not totally deserving of her love and might in fact be somewhat of a lout, she would say, well, honey, we just have to lift him up. She was forever lifting people up.” And isn't that a great reputation to have, that kind of person who's always lifting people up? Third, some people say that they don't know what to say.
Ludwig van Beethoven was deaf and didn't have a lot of social graces because it was hard to communicate. he had a friend who had a son who died and Beethoven found out and rushed over to his friend's house, unable to say anything, He goes over to the piano and he pours out his heart for 30 minutes.
He gets up, and then he leaves. And later on, his friend said that that was the most meaningful visit because Beethoven was genuine and communicated the way that he could. So don't worry about saying the wrong thing. It's the effort that counts. So now that we have talked about that, giving genuine compliments is part of being that strong, warm leader, and to be happy in life, we need to give others better than they give us and not be scorekeepers. We need to lift people up, and we need to give a genuine compliment or encouragement in the way that works for us. So now, let's talk about five ways to make this happen. So first of all, just notice people and make eye contact and be genuine.
Pat Williams, the author said it broke his heart when he found out his sister said that until she met her husband, there was nobody who ever told her she looked nice today. Tell people they look nice. Give a genuine, true compliment about things that you notice that they care about. Thank you for holding the door for me. Thank you for that meal.
You know, if we can find something good about every child in our classroom and tell them, and even better, email mom or dad. put positive comments on a child's report card. But you can also do this with strangers. Track and field athlete Florence Griffith-Joyner was known as Flojo and as the fastest woman in the world.
She died too young in 1988, but before she died, she told Pat Williams this story he shared in his book, The Difference You Make, Changing Your World Through the Impact of Your Influence. Flojo told Pat she grew up poor in South Central Los Angeles, but that when she was eight years old, she met boxing champion Sugar Ray Robinson. She says, “‘Sugar Ray looked me in the eye and he told me, it doesn't matter where you come from, what your color is, or what the odds are against you. All that matters is you have a dream, and you commit yourself to that dream. Do that, and it will happen.' And she says, “Right then and there, I was sold. I was just eight years old, but I was all fired up about what my future could be.” You see, Sugar Ray Robinson gave eight-year-old Florence the compliment of looking her in the eye, noticing her, and speaking truth and encouragement into her life. My late pastor, Dr. Michael Catt, always said to walk slowly through the crowd because everybody has a hurt.
I always want to notice people. And when you're tired, or you're busy, it takes extra effort. When you're working really hard in your classroom, and then you walk in the hall, and those kids are walking by, you have to kind of shift gears and start noticing and complimenting and paying attention to who they are to just give them those genuine compliments that we all need as human beings. Second, I learned this one from my sister: give anonymous surprises. So notice what people like to drink, whether it's a cold soda or a hot tea or a hot coffee. And you get that drink or that soda or that snack, and you leave it on their desk anonymously with a post-it notes on it. So you might say, to the front receptionist, “I notice how you answer the phone so well.” Or you might have like a snicker bar, and you say, “I think you need a little snicker. I've been noticing how hard you've been working.”
The other day, a parent did this for me with a, just a nice note and prayer on it. And this parent had stapled a little baggie with a chocolate chip cookie in it and put it in my basket, and that meant so much because she wasn't asking for anything in return. So first, we notice people and give them a genuine compliment just by paying attention to them even. And second, we give anonymous surprises. So, third, write a note or give a text. So when she moved back to our hometown, one of my amazing students, Casey, said, Ms. Davis, I really want to thank you for being my teacher. And so,
She took me to dinner. She was so kind and gave me some really nice compliments that were so encouraging. And as I was talking to her and seeing what all she did, I was like, wow, she's an amazing leader. So, I helped nominate her for something called Leadership Georgia. Well, Casey goes to Leadership Georgia. She meets her now husband, and now she actually has a child, all because she stopped to give a compliment to her teacher, and that just meant the world to me. I'm still here doing this podcast and on social media because many years ago, during my spring break, I have battled skin cancer pretty much my whole life. And so I had had terrible skin cancer right on my eye.
And so my right eye was swollen, and I was at home, and I was just kind of thinking, you know what, why am I doing any of this? It's just not worth it. I just need to quit it all. Like I was just thinking that. And then I get a ding that a DM was coming in on Twitter and it was my pastor, Dr. Michael Catt. And he said, Vicki, I've noticed what you're doing. You are salt and light. You need to keep doing what you're doing and keep sharing and keep helping people. And that changed the course of my life because I did not stop because one person said something kind in that moment. in his book, All It Takes is a Goal, John Acuff says that he tries to give a text to someone in his life who he admires or respects or appreciates every single day.
And you know what, since I've been doing that, I've gotten so many reconnections, kind of like Casey connected with me; it's just a great way to live your life. So first, slow down and notice. Second, give people anonymous surprises. And third, write a note or a text. Fourth, compliment someone to their boss. Now, waiters and waitresses work hard, and this is something I learned from my mom.
she would notice somebody who was working really, really hard. And then, at the end of the meal, she would say, would it help you if I complimented you to your manager because you did a great job? And that person will always go, like, first of all, they're shocked. And second, they're trying to figure out what you want. But then, when they realize you're real, you explain that they will always go get their manager. And their manager will come out. A lot of times their manager is like sheepish and like, oh, do I really want to talk to this person? What do they want from me?
And so mom would say, you know, I just wanted to tell you what a great job so and so did. They always refilled our tea glass. or whatever it is was a genuine compliment for that person. And so this is something we can also do. When a teacher does a great job, tell the principal.
you know, when your child's teacher does a great job because, you know, they may like a compliment from you, but if you tell their principal, now the principal gets to go give their teacher a compliment, and you have blessed the principal and the teacher because principals need and want positive things to tell their teachers. And in a world full of negative, we need to do that. And, you know, we can also do with us with our students. Now, the fifth may seem something odd, but it's compliment yourself.
So I always tell my students that if a person said to you what you often say to yourself, you would not be friends with that person. Our self-talk is so important. So I have a celebrate playlist that when I finish working out, I play it, and I look in the mirror and I say, “Vicki, you did a good job. You worked out.” And then I play the celebrate playlist.
In John Maxwell's book, How Successful People Grow, 15 Ways to Get Ahead in Life, he says, “if we want to change our lives, we have to change the way we think of ourselves. If we want to change the way we think of ourselves, we have to change the way we talk to ourselves.”
If we talk negatively to ourselves, how will we become a more positive person? When you do something awesome, celebrate, compliment yourself, look in the mirror, tell yourself you did a good job. Get good at celebrating.
So when I was 50, my sisters and I celebrated by me learning to run a half marathon
When I crossed that finish line, you better believe, my hands went up, I get the medal, we're taking pictures, I'm celebrating. I was so, so happy. our habits make us who we are.
And we need to celebrate those little habits when you send a text to compliment someone, when you compliment that waiter or that colleague or that student. Celebrate those moments because you are putting more love and more light, more goodness into the world when you do that. So I'm hoping that you will celebrate World Compliment Day with these five ways to give a compliment and that you will understand that being the kind of person who gives compliments, well, only make you a better leader, a better friend, a better family member and a happier human being. So get out there and celebrate and make every day compliment day by complimenting people in your world.
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Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a “sponsored podcast episode.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via a cash payment, gift, or something else of value to include a reference to their product. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I believe will be good for my readers and are from companies I can recommend. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
The post 5 Simple Ways to Give a Genuine Compliment appeared first on Cool Cat Teacher Blog by Vicki Davis @coolcatteacher helping educators be excellent every day. Meow!